..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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