I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
