and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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