I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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