im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
