We're like a lot better than the average bears
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
