I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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