8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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