I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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