I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You are the jesus of drinking
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