these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize