i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
