he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
