do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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