She is in my trunk
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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