ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How does one acquire holy water?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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