I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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