I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
