He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize