We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
