Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize