used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
