Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize