okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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