I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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