normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
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I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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