sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
