sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
3pm strippers are depressing
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
