Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize