What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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