WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
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