I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
NoShamevember. You game?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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