I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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