He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
