hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
