I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
