i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize