lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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