i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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