Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
