weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
