I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
