maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
