I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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