I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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