am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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