Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think people are normalizing furries
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
