Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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