I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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