I just threw up on my dentist
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
