she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
