I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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