She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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