I can text with my tongue
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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