you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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