yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
