you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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